How To Become A Truly Loving Person


A Study of 2 John

I had great-aunt from the hills of West Virginia who knew just enough about the Bible to be dangerous. When I was in college, I had a new cassette tape record and I wanted to record reading John 3:16, and she fumbled around in her Bible for a while and then started reading a verse I’d never heard. She looked confused, and then she said, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t turn to the Gospel of John, I turned to John the First. Well, I smiled at her and said, “Do you mean First, Second, and Third John. That’s what they’re usually called.”

“Yes, she said, “I turned to John the First.”

She always called First, Second, and Third John, John the First, John the Second, and John the Third. And sometimes I find myself doing that do.

For the last few weeks, we’ve been in John the First. So today I want you to turn to John the Second. This is one of the shortest books in the entire Bible, and it only takes about a hundred seconds to read it. So let’s start by reading all thirteen verses:

The elder,

To the lady chosen by God and to her children, whom I love in the truth—and not I only, but also all who know the truth—because of the truth which lives in us and will be with us forever:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love.

It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us. And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have heard from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love.

I say this because many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Jesus Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.

If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work.

I have much more to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.

The children of your sister, who is chosen by God, send their greetings

This book of 2 John gives us four aspects of what it means to be a loving person. In a way, that is God’s ultimate desire for us—to become a loving person as He defines love.

Introduction

To whom is this letter written? Notice verse 1: The elder…. That would be the apostle John, an original disciple of Jesus and the man who wrote the Gospel of John, the aforementioned three letters of John, and the book of Revelation.

But who is he writing to? He says, “To the lady chosen by God and to her children….” And he ends the letter saying, “the children of your sister, who is chosen by God, send their greetings.”

There are two possibilities and there is no way of knowing which is correct.

  • First, John may be writing an actual woman who had a number of children, and John, who was the bishop or elder in the city of Ephesus, had run into some of them and heard something that bothered him a little, and so his wrote this letter to her. If so, he didn’t give her name because it must have been a time of danger and persecution for Christians.
  • The other possibility, which is the one that I’m inclined to accept, is that John is writing to a church—say in the city of Hierapolis  or Sardis. He had run into some of the members in Ephesus and he had heard something that bothered him a little. So he wrote this letter to the church, but because of persecution he used a sort of code so if the letter fell into the hands of government officials, they wouldn’t say, “Oh, there must be a group of Christians in Hierapolis or Sardis. Let’s go arrest them.” If so, the sister church in verse 13 would be Ephesus.

When I get to heaven, I’m going to ask John whether he was writing to an actual woman somewhere in Asia Minor or if that was his way of writing to one of his congregations, being careful in addressing them because of the dangers of the time.

But now, notwithstanding that unknown factor, the rest of the letter is quite clear and wonderful, and it tells us four things about becoming a truly loving person.

1. If You’re Becoming a Truly Loving Person, You’re Discovering the Truth (v. 1-3)

There are four levels of becoming a more loving person and the first is in verses 1 through 3, which is the introduction or salutation of the letter. Notice how one word shows up four times. I’m emphasize it as I read it:

The elder,

To the lady chosen by God and to her children, whom I love in the truth—and not I only, but also all who know the truth—because of the truth which lives in us and will be with us forever:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love.

If you’re going to be truly loving, you have to love in truth—and you have to love the truth. If you’re discovering true love, that means you are digging into the truth.

Let’s make that as tangible as we can. What is truth? The truth is made up of accurate, authentic realities, and there are only two ways you can discover the truth.

The first is in the creation, in nature, in the cosmos. We can observe things and measure things. We can ascertain that it’s 240,000 miles to the moon, and that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and that 100 plus 100 equals 200. There are scientific observations and measurements. God didn’t create a random world. He created one with consistency. And so by observing His creation we can encounter accurate, authentic realities.

But there are other accurate, authentic realities we can never discover by empirical science—that there is a God who loves us, who became a man to save us, that He died and rose again for redemptive purposes, and that we have eternal life through Him. We can never learn that by observing through astronomy or geology. So we go to a second source of truth—the Word of God—His revealed truth.

Now if you study just the creation, you can see indications that will tell you something about God and you can experience what we call common grace—God’s goodness to everyone. Jesus said that God causes His sun shine on good people and on wicked people. He lets the gentle rains fall on the farms of good people and wicked people.  There is common grace. But when we study the Scripture, we learn about a God who loves us and who through Jesus Christ offers us saving grace.

Now, let’s take it one step further. The Bible teaches that those who observe the truth of the creation and receive his common grace can have genuine affection. They can have a general kind of love and attraction for each other and a degree of affection that can be very deep because we are still people made in His image.

But only those who truly come to know God through saving grace can become truly loving people because, as John said in his 1 John 4:7: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

This is the unique, transcendent agape love of God. This happens to people who discover and dig into the truth of God—the Bible.

In other words, to become a more loving person you have to become a better Bible student.

Let me read these verses again and put my own spin on them:

The elder,

To the lady chosen by God and to her children, whom I love in the truth I’ve discovered in the Bible—and not I only, but also all who know the truth I’ve discovered in the Bible —because of the truth I’ve discovered in the Bible which lives in us and will be with us forever:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth I’ve discovered in the Bible and love.

I can personally testify about this. When I got married, I was like all of us. I was in love, in terms of affection and physical attraction and the emotions of it all. But I knew very little about the elements of true love:

  • Being humble
  • Serving selflessly
  • Putting the needs of my wife first
  • Making sure her needs were met
  • Being patient and joyful
  • Restraining my anger and irritation

And I don’t think I would have learned these things unless I had been taught how to study my Bible every day. Katrina and I both said a thousand times that the secret of a good marriage is making sure she had her quiet time every day when she studied the Bible and prayed, and I did the same. As we both grew closer to the Lord, we became closer to each other.

It’s not simply a matter of getting more and more information about the Bible. But as you study the Bible every day, you get to know more about the Lord, and you get to know Him better. You grow in Him. You grow in Jesus. And slowly you become more like him—more “agapish.”

So the first great lesson comes from the salutation of this letter—we become more loving by discovering and digging into the truth.

2. If You’re Becoming a Truly Loving Person, You’re Doing the Truth (v. 4-6)

The second level is simply the continuation of that thought. If you’re become a truly loving person, you are doing the truth. Look at verses 4-6:

It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us.

John had probably met some of the members of this church (or, if it was an actual woman, some of the siblings) who had come to Ephesus, perhaps on business, and he was delighted to see them. It gave him great joy to see they were walking in the truth – the biblical truth that God commanded.

And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have heard from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love.

There is a little bit of divine circular reasoning here. Did you see it. If we are becoming more loving, we are walking in obedience to God. And if we are walking in obedience to God, we are becoming more loving.

This is the growth cycle. We discover and dig into the truth, and we make our minds to obey it—to make changes in our lives so we conform to the truth.

I recently read a very interesting article by Rachel Maria, who calls herself a lifestyle guru, and it was one of the best articles I’ve ever read about marriage. Rachel said she had suffered through a divorce and had become comfortable being single and unattached. She was a school administrator, and she was very successful. She had a townhouse, a condo on the beach, a BMW. The last thing she wanted was another husband.

But then she met Scott, and they very quickly fell in love. The odd thing was that he was ten years younger than she was. They had a whirlwind romance, eloped, and got married.

And they ran into one problem after another. Rachel was a workaholic who gave herself to her job. Scott was more laid back. Rachel was having health issues. Scott was well. Rachel was remembering her earlier divorce and closing up her heart. Scott was withdrawing.

But then Rachel went to her church for counseling, and the pastor told her to memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, and so forth…

This is the love chapter of the Bible. Rachel had heard it before, but it had only been some nice words. Now as she deliberately memorized and pondered and applied these words, it started changing her attitude. It didn’t happen overnight, but her resentments fell away and she started living out this passage. And let me quote one great sentence from her article: “Things didn’t improve overnight, but my marriage began to heal and flourish. Like a dying plant coming back to life, with so much potential.”[1]

Now think about this. Rachel’s marriage was helped and healed over time as she learned to apply just four verses in the Bible; but there are 31,000 verses. Every one of them has a role to play in making us more Christlike, more loving.

3. If You’re Becoming a Truly Loving Person, You’re Discerning the Truth (v. 7-9)   

Now, let’s go on to the next paragraph. This takes it to the next level. If you’re becoming a truly loving person, you’re discerning the truth. The more time you spend in the Bible, the better you’re able to detect and discern anything that is false, harmful, untrue, and counterfeit.

I say this because many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Jesus Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.

If the truth—especially biblical truth—makes you more loving, than whatever is untrue will weaken you. Look at verse 7: I say this because many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world.

The apostle John was very concerned about false teachers who were traveling around and infiltrating the churches. All three of his letters deal with this. And he gave here the touchstone of truth—that Jesus Christ is God Himself who also became a human being. Jesus Christ is both God and Man. Jesus Christ has two natures in one personality. Jesus Christ is fully divine and fully human. Jesus Christ had to be God in order to be pure and powerful enough to save us, and He had to become a man in order to shed His blood and die and be resurrected to provide our redemption. It is Jesus Christ—both God and Man—that makes it possible for us to receive forgiveness for our failure and sins, have a relationship with God, and have the assurance of eternal life in heaven forever and ever.

Anyone who denies that—

  • The Liberal Protestants
  • The Mormons
  • The Jehovah Witnesses
  • The Muslims
  • The Hare Krishnas
  • The Baha’is
  • The Secularists
  • The Agnostics
  • The Atheists
  • The Humanists
  • The Hindus

Whoever they are—if they do not acknowledge Jesus Christ for who He is, they are deceivers. And John continued: Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. Not the ultimate antichrist, who will show up at the end of history, but they are paving the way for him. They are anti-Jesus.

So John warns: Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead [who abandons the truth] and does not continue in the teaching of Jesus Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.

If you become caught up—really caught up—in anything that pulls you away from Jesus Christ, your ability to truly love will be eroded. We have to keep studying the Bible to be discerning.

4. If You’re Becoming a Truly Loving Person, You’re Defending the Truth (v. 10-13)

Finally, and this brings us to John’s entire point in writing, if you’re becoming a truly loving person, you will become a defender of the truth. Look at verses 10 and 11:

If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work.

Remember that in those days, there were itinerant preachers and teachers. They traveled around from town to town. They would say, “We’re teaching a course this week in the truth about Jesus Christ.” They could get a crowd. Sometimes they could get inside churches. Some of these teachers were heretics who were upsetting the faith and damaging the church.

John was saying, “Do not help these people. Do not let them stay in your homes. Do not entertain them.”

Now let me very clear about that. If you have a son or daughter or brother or sister or father or mother who isn’t living for the Lord, and they want to come to stay a few days you—that’s a very different matter. That isn’t what John is talking about. He is talking about aiding and abetting people who are attacking the truth of Scripture or teaching something that is contrary to the truth.

In today’s terms, maybe he is saying, “Don’t send in your money and support some preacher on television whose message is not biblically sound.”

It seems like a contradiction—Be a loving person, but do not show that person any hospitality. But it’s based on sound reasoning. If you’re going to be a loving person, you have to defend biblical truth—because that’s the genuine message of the God who makes us loving.

Conclusion

Amy Joy Hess is a Christian writer who gave her testimony like this: She said that when she was a teenager, she desperately wanted a relationship with God and she wanted very badly to hear His voice. Whatever that meant, she wanted to hear His voice. She actually wanted to hear it audibly, and this became very important for her. She had a lot of inner turmoil and she needed the voice of God.

One day she heard about a man who went out into the woods and he fasted and prayed for three days and he said that he heard the voice of God. He heard it aloud. So she decided she would do the same. She lived in the country with her parents and sibling, and so one dark evening she slipped out of the house and braved her fear of snakes and spiders and went out into woods. She walked and shouted. She walked and prayed. She walked and listened.

There were a lot of noises in the woods—crickets and the nearby river and other sounds. She walked through woods until two o’clock in the morning, and she went home. By the time she got back, she was exhausted, her legs were cramped, and she found that her family was waiting upset, not knowing where she was.

It was all a very frustrating experience.

Well, Amy went on to college that fall, but she took all her turmoil with her. She battled depression and confusion. One day she was alone in the gymnasium shooting basketballs and crying. Just then a man entered the gym with his family. They saw her and came over. The man came up to her and just said, “Jesus loves you.” He said it several times. “Jesus loves you.” And then he said, “Things aren’t always going to make sense. And God’s not always going to talk to you the way you want. But He loves you. He wants you to read the Bible because it’s His Word to you.”

It really was as if God spoke to her. She went home and started a lifetime of Bible study. Now she overflows with Scripture. God’s Word has taught her how to live and it had taught her how to love. [2]

He can do the same for you and me!


[1] http://lewoman.com/saved-my-marriage/

[2] https://signsofthetimes.org.au/2016/05/when-god-spoke-to-me/